Guarded

I’ve been hurt before,

So I’m pushing you away.

It’s not personal.

Yet that’s not at all what I mean.

The words are jumbled around you

Like colors without a hue.

A painting without a subject

Without direction,

Without life.

Peace refuses to come

While my mind’s anxiety’s throne

Oppressed by unmoving silence.

Yet, ashamed of mistrust unearned

By loyal words and an even tongue,

Tempered by understanding.

Friendship is what I need.

All else is confusion.

And thus I am…