I Hate

I hate being the clingy one,

The one always in need of more love,

In need of validation constantly.

I hate my leaking heart

That pours out loudly

And creaks at all hours of the day and night.

I hate my aversion to silence

As everything echoes inside of me

To the point that I am suffocated,

As soon as I open my mouth.

I hate my anxious thoughts

That berate my soul and shave off any growth

Leaving nicks and bruises sensitive to the touch. 

I hate these things,

But I know who I am.

I am not these things.

I am the heart that loves so much

That it wants such love in return.

I am the one who validates so fiercely

I can only expect the same.

I am the one who speaks so many kind words,

I should cultivate to my ears similarly. 

I am always anxious for others’ growth,

I should be able to have my own. 

These are not selfish things.