I miss you,

Not like a bad habit,

Or a breath of air,

Or even a dream

Where I’m struggling,

Or straining to forget,

Or hide the tinges of blue

Lining my cheeks as I hold myself back.

No,

I miss you like someone

I barely know,

But wish I knew better.

I miss you like the sound of rain

When everything has been too harsh,

Too bright,

And my eyes are too tired to rest.

I miss you like the spaces

Between brushstrokes,

Where each one is defining

Not straining to make sense.

I miss you like the weight

Of a correct answer

Laid gently on the tip of my tongue

Which slips and stutters in a rush

To say your name.

To say I’m still here.

To say don’t worry.

But I bite down on my words

Even as they slip between my teeth,

Because my wants

Are not your needs

And missing you

Is better than making that mistake again.