And in an eye’s blink

We went from everything

To nothing at all.

Thunderclouds in June,

Rain has answered my harsh cries

Leaves gliding southward.

Laying down to rest

I hold my pillow near

I feel you beside me

Though you can’t be here.

You’re thousands of miles away

In distance and in heart

Even nose to nose,

We’re a galaxy apart.

We’ve struggled to get closer,

Opened up our walls

Sent every letter on the wind,

Watching each, as it falls.

Descending into chaos

The twisting turning lines

I’m reaching my limit

Full of unpaid fines.

So they’ve now come to tow me

An unsettled, broken heap

Perturbed you’d find something

To try and steal, to keep.

So now I’m lock away

I’ve sealed up my soul.

Where you once found rest,

There lies a vacant hole.

A space I once would fill

In my naive haste

A broken frame,

Torn picture, trifling waste.

Not this time, I’ve promised

I won’t replace, I’ll heal.

So don’t you worry love,

I’ll deal.

It is sad to think

That I can’t trust my heart to

Choose the one I’ll love.

I said “I love you”

And in your hesitation,

The moment was lost.

You’ve been waiting all these years

To find your other piece.

Struggling with but yourself,

One day your search will cease.

I know not when, I know not where,

This quest will meet its end

I only know it will one day,

I promise that, my friend.

Beyond this veil of tears,

Beyond the grave of debt,

Before this year has ended,

I know not, yet.

Know that I will love you,

Though perfect I can not be,

I will give all I have,

Once you find me.

I’ll sweep you off your feet,

I’ll sing to you and dance,

We’ll cross the world over,

New Zealand, England, France.

I’ll whisper every morning,

I’ll shout across the sky,

Just how much you mean to me,

Though you may question why.

For we will find peace in one another,

To settle down at last,

Cherishing our present day,

Giving up our past.

You will hold to me,

I will hold to you,

Linger lovingly in every thought,

In everything we do.

So please be patient,

Don’t you fret,

I have to find myself,

But I will find you, yet.

Though the rain departs,

Its footsteps linger after,

Mingled tears, laughter.

It’s night again and I can’t sleep,

Though tired is my heart.

I’ve bid goodnight to all my friends,

Hoping to depart.

Yet down to rest I must refuse,

My mind’s unsettled mess

And lay aside today’s confusion,

With all of its distress.

For still stuck am I on that question:

“Do I love myself?”

For though I stretch my heart for others,

I set mine on a shelf.

It’s painful to admit,

But I know it’s true,

It’s harder to accept “me”

Than the most broken “you.”

It is not that I am terrible,

Or in some way worth less.

It’s just that I don’t think of me,

Enough to stress,

The things I want, I need and feel

The things I wish you’d tell

As I try to create your heaven,

While burning in my hell.

Again it’s not that I deserve

Or feel it’s justice due,

It’s that I’ve learned to think,

Of myself less than you.

So please remember,

As I’m trying to forget,

You meant the world to me,

Though we’ve never met.

For once, someone did
Care enough to ask of me
What is it you want?

For once, someone did
Love enough to ask of me
What is it you feel?

For once someone did
Think enough to ask of me
What is it you need?

Who? You might inquire
Might have cared, and loved, and thought
Who I might have met.

For once, I did stop,
To think about my own self
Yet, I did not ask.

To reach for the stars

Is a simple sort of thing,

Until you can’t breathe.