Tag: envy

You Are More

You sing within my bones

And resonate my waking hours

With gentle harmonies of disillusion.

You sap from me my memories

My fear of having a past that mattered

Baggage that marred and deserted

So many before.

Life before you seems a dream

A nightmare I’ve barely awoken from

Shaking,

Sweaty,

Throat hoarse from screaming,

Reaching and grasping for some hold

Some ledge in the retreating landscape.

You are not my savior;

No.

You are not a rope or a ledge

To climb up or hang myself with.

You are not a drink or a drug

To forget with or find some shallow high,

Some tainted sweet taste of escape.

You are none of these things.

You are none of these things.

You are neither the patterns

Or spontaneity in existence,

Cohabiting a home of flesh and thought

Spiraling in conjunction.

You are not the thoughts that shriek

In swiftly passing days

Or grueling nights.

You are not the worries

That perch outside the windows

Announcing rain with weathered claws

Screeching upon glass.

You are neither the anxious murmurs

That tap on your doors

While slipping hatred underneath

Signed by friends

You know so much better than that,

But begin to doubt anyways.

You are so much more than all of this

And I love you for that,

Because it’s all I really know of you.

And everyday I regret that.

And everyday I wish I knew more.

Evanescent Portents

My heart flinches at the thought

That you might exist

Beyond the smoke and ashes

Of burnt out hope

And kerosene soaked desires.

My breath catches in my chest

As I gasp for a name I may never know

Or have said so often

It is etched within my lungs.

Perhaps I have seen you in vision

With eyes unaccustomed to brilliance

Stricken with mere shadows

And only an aftereffect

To blink at and remember you by.

I worry you are trapped in my mind

As once I was as well

Shouting some plea for recognition

Hoping to be heard

Above the screeching of lesser musings.

Cautious Tranquility

I trace constellations on your skin

With lips that yearn for guidance  

Making connections between breaths

With kisses that barely brush

Then linger on soft sweetness.

I hesitate,

Then contemplate the Maker’s design

Lines that intertwine

And intersect our interaction

Setting once parallel figures

On a course of collision.

Colluding shadows of mirth and mire

Muddle our once cacophonous minds

With medleys of satiated cries

Echoing the once silent walls

Within our hearts

Leaving impressions of something more

Than ink or stone can recognize.

Your eyes are the stars

and all is lost in searching their depths

for words etched in paper cups burned

black with ashes, script faded like voices

echoing out of existence and into the

fantastic shades of stormy coalescence,

like rain in a drought ridden heart.

Thou Shalt Not Covet

Her touch was but a memory of skin and warmth

Gingerly engraved within my heart

Like so many before, yet like no other

I can not explain the need,

The urgency that attends

The prickling of my skin at her voice

Which I have too long since heard.

She is the hope of all I wish I could be

And so much of what I (what we) could do in this world

To heal, to soothe, and to mend

To bind the broken hearts

With the words that robbed me of my own. 

She is the wind

The quiet that kills,

The silence that sows fear

In fields where flowers once grew.

She is the earth

The grit and shale,

That marks the pathway

For feet stumbling, blind.

She is the sky,

The radiance of noon

With clouds freckled across

Marking the beauty in shade.

She is the moon,

Her calm laughter

Trickling in the form of light

Tucks the children into sleep.