You said you wanted to smile,

With every word I write.

To see the letters flow,

From day to darkened night.

You told me that you cried,

Weeping gentle tears,

For all the pain that I have seen,

These three and twenty years.

You proclaimed that I was perfect,

In voice, manner and way.

I replied “You’re beautiful.”

What else could I say?

You declared to me your promise,

To keep me safe from harms.

So in you I trusted,

Myself within your arms.

And now in them I’m resting,

Nestled gently now.

You begin to speak,

I whisper “Not now…”

I should be done,

but I’m not.

The words that came so easy,

Begin to rot.

Each twisting,

inside my heart,

Choking life,

Before it can start.

The melodies that once were peace,

Lie in pieces on the ground.

I’m shouting in my head,

But to you I make no sound

The promises I made,

The strength that I lack.

I’ve tried to walk away,

To never look back.

I’m trying not to think,

Of what we could have been.

I try not to dream,

As I write them with my pen.

I wish you could hear me,

The thoughts of my soul.

But you’re dead to my rhythm,

No longer a part of my whole.

And as I lay myself to rest.

I can only wish for you,

My love, my heart and my all, the best.

Here I am again,

With neither paper nor pen

To write the thoughts

That stray throughout my mind.

I cease to speak

And yet I seek

To express

Feelings that free and bind.

And while the river,

Once so free,

Has trickled to a drop-

I can not stop.

For every line is a promise,

A way to recompense,

In a manner, to set off,

To depart, hence.

So now I type,

Upon the screen,

With fingers soft and thin,

I’m reaching out to you,

So I can reach within.

The night has descended

and tired is my heart.

I feel the body’s weakness,

In spirit, in soul torn apart.

I try to clear my thoughts,

With poem, prayer or song.

Yet find the melodies missing,

Somehow wrong.

So I seek solace in writing,

An escape for my thoughts.

To get it out, the poison,

Before it rots.

So here I lay before you,

The secrets of my self.

Bound, measured and tamed,

Desiring a shelf.

That my pains may be yours,

And yes, my triumphs too.

For we shall walk together,

Like friends should do.

As we are not quite strangers,

Though we’ve never met.

I know you’ve had heartache,

And felt depressed, I’ll bet.

I won’t lie and say don’t worry,

It’s just a phase of life.

For some of us are chosen,

To bear our time in strife.

Within our hearts we question,

Can happiness be real?

For, yes, we see it,

But, for us to feel?

We hunker in our shadows,

We travel in the night.

We bury ourselves in reading,

By silent candlelight.

And by and by we falter,

We slip and we forget.

That each has a purpose,

Though, know, we may not yet.

For out of our experience,

We can call forth light.

The lead others through,

The seemingly endless night.

And find ourselves among them,

Though we feel not whole.

We are never truly broken,

As united, hearts and souls.

So don’t believe you are alone,

That no one understands.

We are more than our trials,

While we are holding hands.

So, let us build together,

A harmony of parts.

And with these scattered pieces,

Find peace, at last, in our own hearts.

If you can’t love me, with all you know.

Then who?

If you can’t hold me, with all we’ve seen

Then who?

If you can’t find me, with all I’ve been

Then who?

If you won’t fight for me,

Then who?

If you can’t trust me, with all I’ve shown you

Then who?

If you can’t forgive me, with all you understand

Then who?

To whom do I turn for the love you filled so perfectly?

To whom do I turn, when you were made for me?

I see you there
Laid out in neon lights
Moonlit shadows
In sharp contrast to your wonder

I watch you as you ponder
Gazing into star filled sky
Asking yourself
Why?

Destiny laughs at you
Trying to find the promises of tomorrow
Chuckles at the very thought
A joke

Your pain is mine
I wonder why
I guess
I think

But…
I can never know
I can never feel
Never understand

Can I?
Not I but you…
You are there
Wishing, hoping

Waiting for the answer
The answer to a thousand thousand questions
Questions that are
That were

Those that will be
Still
Even after death
Lost

Will we ever know?
Who knows?
He knows?
She does…

Not she but him
Not him but her
His light
Her shadow

Both cast in contrast
To the neon in your hair.

The sun has set upon the valley
Curtains of silky black descend
Stretching their long fingers abroad
Touching here and there

There and here with shadow
Light contained in velvet grip
Thrust beyond the horizon
Before the nations past

Past feeling
Over emotion
Cast among outcasts
In sorrows weeping

Sorrows weep
Subdued by moonlight
Reflections of the midnight star
Hung in distant sky

Distant skies
Calling here and there
There and here for justice
Peace

Peace
Sought in afflictions
Afflictions sought in agonizing breaths
Sobs caught in our throats

Our throats are raised in song
Crying out
Against hate
Against pain

Pain against us
Them
They
All of we

We of all
People
Living
Lives lost

Losing lives
As time slips
Falling into space
Spacing out

Out of space
Moving
Waltzing into life
Out of death

Out of death we find
Into life we search
Slipping out of time
Falling into space

Into space we roam
Trying all our lives
Searching all our souls
For the answer

The Answer
To the one question
That one confusion
All caught

Captured
In the moonlit sun.

Raindrops fall
As a storm arises overhead
Each landing upon your scarlet petals
Consuming the still sinking sunset

Each drop a shadow of light
A light of solemnity
Rays of gentle beauty
Gracing your velvet hands

You are a rare flower
Blooming in the still moonlight
A soft breeze rustling your leaves
Emerald apparel on a soft curve

Your lips
Curiously kept still
Winds prevailing not
Failing to move them

Listen though to the flowers around
Hear them speak their gentle words
Their insights and psalms
Prayers of pure poetry

They fall upon deaf ears
Carried away on torrential silence
Floating upon seaward clouds
Entangled in the sky

They rain upon your scarlet petals
Gently touch your velvet hands
Sink into your open mouth
Slowly drowning out the silence.