Tag: spilled thoughts

Headfirst

I fell headfirst into too many words

My mouth caved in

Before my heart could even begin

To open.

I fell headfirst into your name

If I could call you mine

And still get your attention

I would.

I fell headfirst into your love

Not for myself, but for everything else

Your world was always brighter

Especially after rainfall.

I fell headfirst into silence,

Hesitation primed to implode

With the force of a thousand pound

Wait…

I fell headfirst into a grassy field

Rolled until my throat erupted

Laughter tearing itself free

Taking flight on a exchanging of words.

I fell headfirst into foolishness

Foundation on a light whisper

Dust suspended in a shadow’s kiss

Already fading with the rising sun.

Her voice was a candlelit picnic

on the beach,

Soft as the ocean waves,

Leaving impressions on your heart

Like the sand that you carried

In small dunes

As the sounds of guitar strings fade

With the rising sun.

Sometimes thoughts are like puzzle pieces cut from different molds

Varying heights sticking out from incongruent connections

Creating a landscape of bumps and grooves

Where lights seeps in and fades.

Feelings are scattered like a tattered tapestry

Interwoven with mismatched fabrics

Colors muddled within the threads

Contrasting a lack of cohesion with overzealous amalgamation. 

Notes crowd the spaces in between

Dissonant chords unified only in their aversion to harmony

Establishing an economy of fickle foundations

Bracing themselves for deconstruction. 

Inconsistency

I exist between old age and immaturity

Fluttering between fleeing attention

And resigned forgetfulness

Uncertainty and a vague notion

That nothing ever really changes.

A brightly colored kite

A gnarled oak overhanging a riverside

Gently swaying and creaking

Like aged bones under mottled skin.

My lips are dyed with passion

Lingering with the taste of honey

While my tongue lies still

Weighed down by heavy thoughts

Whose reminiscent nature begets woe.

Fickle foundations crumble

Swiftly shifting lines casting aside

An aside to the inner workings

Of a gently breaking heart.

Taking in stride the infantile steps

Between getting there and making it,

I walked after I crawled

Before I crawled again.

The heart aches for the unnamed song

A note beckoning rest to the weary

A tune extending silence

Where a cacophony of thoughts disturb.

Unclaimed emotions lying in wait

Just out of reach

In the outskirts of consciousness

Taunting our lives, listless.

Leave us to merely exist,

Awaken to daily monotony

While glazed over expressions

Mark themselves on faces of stone.

Corrected Correction

I removed your name from my phone’s dictionary

Having grown too tired of it trying to bring you back

Auto-correcting you into sentences meant for other people

Reminding me that you still exist outside of this life. 

I would type “tomorrow” and you would appear

An electronic representation of both presence and absence

Contradictory states of existence forcefully inserted

Behind hopes and dreams for a new day.

Now you are gone

With your weightless well wishes floating with you

Trailing shadows as you pass over

Ascending into an alternate space. 

Intertwined Impressions

The impressions on my mind

Are the lack of impressions in my bed

Feelings neither lonely nor ecstatic

And in the evening hours

I roll over

Longing to find your touch

To breathe “I love you” on your neck

While tracing vows on your shoulders

And memories down your back

To pull you to the warmth in my chest

Vessel lit by more than pleasant chance

Then filled with song and silence

To print your name on my lips

With overuse in laughter

And the quiet need to share my soul

To read my own, on your eyelids

Fading, projecting some shadow of myself

Between the shades of dusk and dawn

To waken to you unvanished

Returned from self-inflicted exile

And thoughts of worthlessness

Yet all are whispers and whimpers

Pathetic musings in the midnight hour

Scraping by on the way to rest.

Placeholder

It sucks to feel like a simple placeholder in someone’s life

A quick drag on a 5 minute break

A trail of ashes and your crumpled shell discarded after use

The lingering scent of tobacco mingled with sweaty regret

Perspiration clinging to their lips as they turn away

With no mark that they ever knew you

Except the slight cough when they hear your name

And the awkward shuffling to stamp out what is left of your light. 

Withered Hearts

I scrape your scent from my hands

With nails filed down for impunity

Dense shavings of thoughts gathered,

Fervently dislodged, and shaken out.

Yet flakes of our regrets cling to them

Curled within my bones like worms

Burrowing between the cracks

Digesting humanity.

I scream, but my lips are sewn

With indecision catered to your heart,

Tracing loops along my tongue,

Binding fingers across my mouth.

I devour words caught in my throat

Coughed up, half digested thoughts

Failed suggestions experienced as mist

Droplets dyed in hues of pink and orange.

I run warm water over homemade scars

Gently brushing off dirt with soft cotton

Laced with fragile intentions

That sting like antiseptic whispers.

Fading marks of afflicted thinking

Entangled in my hair

Like the shadows of your fingers

Remnants of a time we felt love.