Finding Your Way

The light is before me,

Though shadows surround my feet.

I step forward,

And it slowly drifts away.

The warmth where it once was

Lingers;

I brace myself

As the winter air assails me.

Snow falls from a forbidden land;

Teasing my senses.

I look out to the left

And see fires burning;

They seem strong–

Lasting hours,

But always fading in the end.

I look back to the light–

Slowly drifting,

But never wavering–

A steady, consistent hue.

I stumble in the shadows,

Grasping at the air for refuge.

My fingers meet metal;

My mouth tastes copper.

I am crawling towards illumination,

As blood drips from my tongue.

My vision is blurred,

My words are slurred,

But somehow it feels like home.

Lips Like an Undertow

Darling, kiss me slow

Lips like an undertow

And drown me in your love, tonight.

Oh, pull me in;

Let me feel warmth again,

Until the sun starts rising.

Dear, let me sing to sleep,

Shear all your fears like sheep,

And leave your past behind you.

Darling, so kiss me slow;

Your lips are all I know,

And taste our dreams, tonight.

In Defense

What defense can be afforded a broken heart

When barbs of wire pierce the very hands

That attempt to hold it dear?

When walls of stone erupt

Louder than soothing words can climb?

When a hard and empty shell

Echoes unsatisfactorily?

What defense can be afforded a broken heart;

Pray tell…

For I am growing too old to stand watch alone.

I Heard a Herd

A shot in the dark;

A shot through the heart,

Aimed with arrows and twine

And a bowed bow

That bows out before it’s loosed.

What a loss:

A loose goose

Caught by a noose in the caboose–

A tall tail tale,

Wouldn’t you tell,

If the shell by the sea sells

More sails for sales

Than whales that wail?

That’s enough of that though,

Wouldn’t you know,

We’ve come to a close,

And that was close, I suppose.

Before a rose rose out of my clothes,

But that’s just how it goes.

To Love a Shadow

This is what it’s like to love a shadow:

A cluster of beauty,

A shell of a person,

A casing of personality traits

Woven specifically to fit your heart.

To see the mask shift as you leave

Or slip while she’s in your arms.

The phone lights up and she’s gone,

To another source to feed that void,

To dance and sing her praises.

You’re never enough,

Because it’s not you–

An unfillable heart

Against a finite supply of love.

No one wins;

And everything’s a game.

Bring any amount of light,

It’ll be snuffed out or shunned.

Truth is judgement;

Judgement is shame.

No matter how you phrase it,

It stings.

How do you love a shadow with no skin? Gently, my dear, gently…

But even cotton soft is tossed aside

For sandpaper phrases

Or honeyed promises of better days

With less work, less trying…

Less love.

When you love a shadow,

Embrace your light,

Embrace your right to shine.

For when she’s long gone,

That’s what you’ll have left.

Keep walking towards the Sun,

Feel the warmth again.

How do you love a shadow?

You let her find her own way,

Her own strength,

Her own life,

As you move on.

One Day

I no longer need someone to save

Nor someone to rescue me.

I have a Savior;

But as for mortal love,

I need a partner

Not a mother, father, or nurse.

No knight in shining,

Nor heroine with sharpened sword–

Just a friend to hold and laugh with.

Someone to watch the stars fall,

To share warmth of summer,

And bear the frosty winter mornings.

Someone to learn with,

To listen to when days are rough–

A reminder that sacrifice is at the heart

And soul of eternity.

Someone to tease,

To take on adventures

On mountains, lakes, and valleys

Or in the shelter of our home.

To peruse the shelves of her mind

And bookmark every word

To sing the notes written in her bones.

To trace every freckle,

To kiss every scar,

But most of all to thrive in the present.

To thrive in the gift

Of being more than we would be alone.

Like Nothing

You left like it was nothing–

A breath in a storm,

Exhalation,

A slight pause after a misstep

Without looking back.

We spilled our souls

With crooked ladles,

Splashing counters,

Dripping secrets like stains

On white linen shirts.

You decried abandonment,

Screaming that true love would stay,

Would never ask you to change,

Wouldn’t want you happier,

Wouldn’t want you healthier.

One year of laughter,

One year of pain,

Then all I heard was silence.

It’s suffocating,

The weight of non-existence

Crushing my chest… .

But it’s nothing to you.

Maybe it never was.

Maybe it never will be.

Maybe it never is.

Color in the Lies

Color in your lies–

Promises swept underneath the rug.

Trace the curves of your tongue

And fill the void unfeeling.

Call out a name your nose remembers

And your fingers cannot forget.

Shout again to hear an answer–

An echo, your only friend.

Bite your nails in silent affliction,

All that’s broken may grow again.

Unless…

You’re the end of that nail, discarded.

A Blank Canvas

There are streaks on your nose where he struck,

Bruises on your back where his words found their mark;

Dark speckles dot your side where she spat her venom

And told you you’d never be enough.

You scrape underneath the pain,

Lifting years from a canvas once bright–

Leaving chips of the lies they told you

Scattered on the floor.

You’re tracing new lines now,

In skin forever yours,

With brushes untainted

With all of those sores.

You paint upon the surface,

With pigments black and blue,

Lines of orange on your shoulders

Muddled with red.

You’re filling your canvas,

And crafting your heart.

You’re filling your canvas

Finding your soul.

You’re filling your canvas,

And starting anew.

You’re filling your canvas,

And finding you.

Vacant Houses

Tell your heart to stop building homes

For each passerby

And vagrants who just stop to eat.

Rip up the welcome mat

And suffocate

On the dust of those long gone.

Shake out the curtains

Stained with mold;

Torch them on the stove.

Breathe deeply of the spores–

The only living things

Or loving things for miles.

Take a knife to the carpets

And carve every name you’ve lost;

Start in English, end in incoherent pain.

Fill the sinks with water

Til the floors are overrun,

Soaked as deeply as your scarlet sheets.

Sit before the fireplace,

Warm your hands on vacant letters–

Full of words and nothing else.

What are promises to the fleeting

Or foundations

For these already dead?

What are promises to the fleeting

Or foundations

For those already dead?