I’ve found it,

The perfect gift for you.

It shimmers like the autumn evening

And falls like majestic rain.

It rings in my ears

Like the road beneath the wind

And the shadows of eventide.

It sings

Like a caged bird

Longing for something more

Than echos of familiarity.

It tastes like home

The way you feel before a bonfire

Wrapped in my arms.

It smells like afternoon

Before the traffic starts

And food shops hustle before the rush.

It looks like everything you’ve given me

And all the unspoken words I’ve kept inside. 

It both describes you 

And fits my tongue 

Like everything you should have heard before.

I was mute

And this is my abstinence from silence.

I glance over at your laughter

Trickling its way to my lonesome ears

Finding sunlight in your shoulders

As I stare across the void.

You look at me

Through the corner of your eye

Playfully, yet with a touch of sorrow

Burdensome melancholy.

We freeze for a moment

Unable to admit

The depth of our resistance

To categorizations untoward.

Stereotypical classifications of guilt

Mingled with unethical boundaries

Tangled within the crawlspaces

Within our hearts.

Is it love or indigestion

Or the inability to overcome and cope with

The frailties we share?

I just talked to you yesterday, it seems

I’m sorry it took so long.

You said you were doing things you loved

And finally had the job you wanted.

I talked to you yesterday, it seems

You were happier than I remembered.

You said you had a better life

Had conquered the sadness we once shared.

I talked to you yesterday, it seems

I read your words for the first time in years.

They seemed to glow with a light

I had never seen before. 

I talked to you yesterday, it seems

But now I’m sure that cannot be. 

I saw your name in a year old paper

Page 5: Obituaries

I talked to your family today, it seems

And I couldn’t meet their eyes.

Sorry will never be enough,

For all the yesterdays we never spoke. 

Scattered cobblestones trace the path

Of cracks that line their weary faces

Paces fading into patterns

Sorely unkempt with time.

Rhythms quiet, unassuming

Rumors lost in circumstance

Dancing ‘round with withered leaf

And falling to the wind.

Open meadow, sheltered brow

With perspiration set

Met with consternation’s scent

And cast into despair.

Sending constellations guidance

Charting for a vacant shore

Sure of ill-intent, evading

Till night will come nevermore. 

My hands were once smooth as silk

Tracing the lines that sketched the ties

That slipped in and out of our existence,

But over time the calluses of your words

And silence slowly formed the

Hills and valleys

That separated us

From what we once were.

Where once my touch was elegant

And tongue was eloquent

Formed dunes of sand and

Incomprehensible gibberish.

I reach out for your name,

But my lips refused to speak it

My heart refused to need it

And my hands emptied themselves

Of any kindness they had left. 

And though they’ve softened now

They’ll never trace your form again.

Why do I call it love?

I’d rather spend time with you

Than lie with others

Solitude is like a daydream–

Lost inside a bad scene

Filmed within my heart

Someday I will find my way back

Find myself back on track

To where I used to be.

But someway I’ll remember just how

I was living so loud

And never heard her scream.

Solitude is like a daydream lost inside a bad scene

Filmed within my heart

The mind is a fickle bastard

Shelled and fit disaster

Waiting for my fall.

But someday I will find my way home

Get away from too long

Write myself a new song

Try to drown my fears.

Soliude is like a daydream lost inside a bad scene

Filmed within my heart

And someday I will call a place home

Find you there in my arms

Till you fall asleep.

Drifting in and out of rapture

Sought and traced plaster

That contains my heart.

Someway I will find my way back

Figure out how to act

And never leave again.

I don’t know why, but I still love you.

If this is just a dream,

If I could be reborn again, 

Even if it is against God’s will 

I want to be with you.

If this is just a dream,

When I wake up from this dream 

If I could be with you… 

I would

I would

Defy death just to hold you in my arms 

As the morning light illuminates this world of darkness 

Brings hope to the hopeless

And freedom to my sorrow.

The morning light I speak of 

Is the girl that I love

So will you

Come to me in this darkest hour 

Or will you run away and cower? 

Because I need you right now

More than I ever have before.

As I look into your eyes 

Those sapphire oceans of sorrow 

The tears that flow 

When I see you 

I am reminded of the pain 

You caused my broken heart 

Even so, I still can’t 

Sit and watch you there 

So, I walk slowly 

Faithfully, 

Put my arms around 

Hold you safe and sound 

The tears 

Stain my shoulder 

I have not a care 

Worrying only that 

You know I’ll always be there 

The pain you’d caused me then 

Healed by the friend you are now.

I don’t know what to do 

I want to be there for you 

To have and to hold 

To contradict everything you have been told 

To comfort you when you feel deflated 

To all of your problems I have related 

Somehow I want to be 

Some one to cause you happiness and glee 

I want to but I can not 

I have lost everyone I’ve sought 

So as I say goodbye 

All hope for this must die.